Uncommon Lessons From a Stick Shift Car

This week, while taking a Lyft ride that was surprisingly smooth but suspiciously louder than usual, I noticed something that the driver was manually shifting gears.

Like, with a stick.

I blinked.

“A stick shift, huh?” I asked. .

He nodded proudly, like he’d just revealed a samurai sword hidden under the passenger seat. “Yup. Five-speed manual. Real driving, baby.”

Real driving, indeed.

It was in that moment, somewhere between second and third gear, that I had a Taoist epiphany: Life is a stick shift, not an automatic.

Stick with me here (pun fully intended).

I Never Learned to Drive a Stick

Confession: I have never driven a manual transmission car. Not once. Never stalled one, never pop-clutched it up a hill, never coasted into a gas station in neutral praying to the gods of Mobil.

Blasphemy, I know.

Growing up, driving was taught with an automatic and a prayer. And truthfully, I was perfectly fine letting the transmission do the thinking while I handled the snacks and the cassette tapes.

My late father wasn’t any better.

I remember the time he was given a stick shift rental while his own car was being repaired. One morning he called me in a panic from home because he couldn’t figure out how to put the damn thing in reverse to get it out of the garage. I watched him, an accomplished university administrator with multiple degrees, lose an entire theological debate with a German gearshift.

He was sweating.

The car wasn’t moving.

He eventually had to get out by asking a neighbor to back the car out of the garage for him.

Shifting Gears, Tao Style

But that Lyft ride got me thinking: What if we’re all just trying to learn how to shift gears in life?

You start in first—baby steps, training wheels, dating apps. You grind a little, you stall emotionally, maybe flood the engine on a first date.

Taoist wisdom says this is expected. After all, “A journey of a thousand miles begins beneath one’s feet,” not with burnout and high RPMs.

Second gear—momentum. You’ve got a rhythm, you’re cruising. Career’s okay, maybe you own a plant or two. This is where many of us get comfortable and forget that the road ahead still has hills, construction zones, and unexpected exit ramps.

Third and fourth—now you’re flying. And here’s where it gets tricky. Because life, unlike most roads, doesn’t come with signage telling you when to shift. Miss the cue, and you’ll either stall or redline.

A Taoist would say: “Know when to yield. Know when to let go. The clutch is your friend.”

And don’t forget reverse.

Sometimes life demands a little backing up. A little re-evaluation. A little, “Whoops, wrong driveway.” That doesn’t mean failure. That means awareness.

The Tao Te Ching teaches that “in yielding is completion.” The best drivers and the wisest people know that there’s power in surrender. You can’t muscle your way through life in fifth gear forever. At some point, you’ll burn out the clutch—or your spirit.

Don’t Stall Out, Bro

The stick shift is a dance. Press, release. Push, glide. It’s a rhythm with the universe. And when done right, it’s smooth, seamless, soulful. That’s Tao in motion.

But let me be honest. Life will stall.

You’ll hit a hill, metaphorical or otherwise, and roll back a few feet.

You’ll grind your gears trying to make something happen before it’s time.

But the Tao reminds us that even the best drivers have to come to a complete stop sometimes. It’s not about staying in motion at all costs. It’s about knowing how and when to move.

Final Gear

So no, I’ve never driven a stick.

But I’ve driven through heartbreak, transition, midlife reflection, spiritual awakening, financial rerouting, and a few career detours with the clutch of the Tao.

And I’m learning to shift a little better each day.

Just don’t ask me to parallel park.

So let’s end this essay with a little bumper sticker wisdom?

Try this:

“Shift happens. Learn to ride it with the Tao.”

---

Hey, if you’re digging the Daily Chocolate Taoist vibe, then consider becoming a $6.00/month or $60.00/year member supporter to help keep this full-time indie writer caffeinated and creating. And if you’re feeling a little mischievous, feel free to toss in a bit of dirty chai latte fuel into the mix. Because every sip of my favorite drink will help to keep my Taoist adventure rolling.