Soaring Beyond the Expectations of Others

One Woman’s Remarkable Journey

Lyndsee Nielson’s life is a bold testament to the power of self-determination, a journey that embodies the Taoist principle of “Ziran,” — being in harmony with one's true nature.

From an early age, Lyndsee chose a path that defied societal norms, opting not to marry or have children, and instead prioritizing her personal growth and intellectual pursuits. Her story reminds us that true fulfillment comes from within, transcending the good opinion of others and embracing one's unique path.

With the support of her family and friends, Lyndsee embraced her unique interests and life preferences, unwavering in her decisions despite societal pressures. 

Her journey, marked by a passion for learning and a commitment to authenticity, challenges conventional expectations and serves as a powerful reminder that true fulfillment comes from carving one's own path.

When asked about her decision not to marry or have children, she pauses, reflecting on a journey that defied societal norms from an early age. 

"I’m not entirely sure when it became clear to me that I didn’t want children or that getting married wasn’t a priority for me," she begins. "To be fair, I never dreamt of either of those things as a child; never placed a sheet on my head and pretended I was a bride or carried a baby doll around."

College was a transformative period for Lyndsee. Classes in sociology, philosophy, Buddhism, feminism, and art history opened her eyes to the multitude of ways one can navigate life. 

"I started seeing that what I grew up thinking I ‘knew’ wasn’t the only way of living or being. I’d been conditioned to follow societal norms and accept them as the one and only way to move through life, but it wasn’t."

Traveling the world further crystallized this perspective. 

"When I started traveling seriously, exposing myself to other cultures, belief systems, and ways of living, it was even more clear that my priorities didn’t have to revolve around finding a partner or having children," she explains. "I felt emboldened to choose for myself what my life would look and feel like."

Lyndsee acknowledges her privilege in being able to make these choices. Support from family and friends allowed her eccentric interests and life preferences to be accepted and embraced. 

"Even though people still try to convince me that I 'might change my mind about children' or that I 'still have time to freeze my eggs,' I remain steadfast in my decisions," she asserts. "The ability to choose one’s path in life, whether that follows a traditional route or not, is still one’s own decision."

Lyndsee's love for learning has always been a driving force in her life. "Even as a kid, during the summers I would play school. Yea, I was that kind of child, and am still that kind of adult," she laughs. 

"Learning has always been an important priority to me because it has empowered me. If I felt uncertain about something, I could pick up a book or do research and inform myself, equipping myself with what I needed to make a decision or to take action."

This passion for knowledge carried over into her college years. 

"When I had the privilege of attending college, my focus was less on dating and more on prioritizing the experiences that would inform and inspire my future. 

While socializing was still very much a part of that experience, having incredibly close friendships and surrounding myself with people who would expose me to new things and who would challenge my thinking were more important than being in a serious romantic relationship."

Lyndsee is grateful for the friendships and mentorships that shaped her time in higher education. 

"Those relationships were integral to both my academic and personal growth. They, along with the coursework I immersed myself in, greatly inspired the person that I am today."

From an early age, Lyndsee’s mother encouraged creative expression and supported her diverse interests.

"She let me dress myself, pursue sports, art, reading…whatever I was drawn to. She even let me quit cotillion when I felt it was a representation of archaic patriarchal values."

Her aunt’s comment at her sister’s wedding, "We won’t have one of these for you, right?" was more an acknowledgment of Lyndsee’s non-traditional views on marriage. 

"It wasn’t meant to be dismissive," Lyndsee clarifies. "It was more in acknowledgment that I’ve never felt compelled to have a big ceremony to confirm my relationship status."

For Lyndsee, the idea of a big wedding never appealed.

"If anything, I’d consider a courthouse wedding, a backyard celebration, or simply remaining content with being common-law with my partner, Steve. The point is, there is no one right way to celebrate our choices."

Lyndsee passionately believes in celebrating womanhood in all its forms. 

“There is no ‘one right way’ to embody womanhood. If you want to get married, amazing! If you want to have children, go for it! If you don’t want either of those things, incredible! We get to choose what shape our lives take and it’s okay if they don’t match some preconceived norm or expectation."

Her professional journey is as unconventional as her personal life.

"Right out of college, I worked at the university I graduated from in development (fundraising and membership) and then made a move into the tech world as a customer success manager. If a pendulum can swing to both extremes, these were them."

Starting her own business was a revelation.

"I knew I wanted to be somewhere in between. More creativity and personal expression than I got to offer in higher education, and less volatility and unpredictability than I found in tech. I wanted to create my own methods, prioritize my mental and physical health, and have my time back."

Working for herself has allowed Lyndsee to exercise her creative muscles daily. 

"It has allowed me to choose projects that light me up and clients that I am passionate about helping," she says. "I plan work around my life, not my life around my work."

Reflecting on her journey, Lyndsee notes,

 “I’ve learned so much about myself and what I want and need on a day-to-day basis. While this new path as a self-employed writer and creator is different, it aligns perfectly with my personal and professional goals."

Lyndsee is committed to showing young people that there are multiple paths to success and fulfillment.

 "I think when we’re young, we tend to believe that there’s one definite path to success. Graduate high school, go to college, pursue a degree that will get you a job, meet your life partner, get married, and have kids."

She emphasizes the importance of showing young people different ways of living. 

"My partner has a niece and three nephews that I care for dearly. I love being able to show them what another loving relationship can look like. You can be in a committed relationship without needing a piece of paper to prove it. You can be affectionate in public without shame. You can laugh, have fun, and also have serious, intellectual conversations."

Lyndsee’s home is a testament to her unique style and travels. 

"When our niece and nephews come to our house, they love taking photos of the way we’ve decorated our space," she smiles. "We’ve intentionally decorated our home with bright colors and eclectic decor, and it’s different and interesting."

Her self-employment is another way she sets an example.

"It doesn’t have to look like going into an office or working 50 hours a week. It doesn’t have to be a 9-to-5. It can even allow you to travel, write, and meet people all over the world!"

Beyond her immediate family, Lyndsee carries these beliefs and qualities into all her interactions.

"I think sometimes we need to see it to believe it, and I’m grateful that my lived experiences and my choices allow me to build a life that I’m proud of and love sharing with others."

Lyndsee is empathetic in her response to criticism.

"To be fair, my friend was a 70-year-old woman who was raised in an entirely different generation than I was," she explains. "In her heart, she very well could’ve believed that a woman’s main role was to procreate and raise children."

She reflects on the roots of such views.

 "A lot of time, the judgment comes when people can’t understand your perspective or can’t put you into one of their accepted boxes."

Lyndsee remains confident in her choices.

 "I believe that I can still be a positive influence and contribute in a meaningful way to my community without having to be a mother. My choice to not have children doesn’t reflect poorly on me, and there is a whole lot else that I am choosing to do with my life that is worthy."

Lyndsee’s passion for political advocacy is palpable. 

"It can feel scary to speak up, to stand up for what you believe in and against what you know to be wrong," she says. "But when people are trying to take away our rights, to belittle and suppress us, or to deny what is rightfully ours—our body, who we choose to love and/or marry, and how we want to live our lives—they are robbing us of our self-expression."

Lyndsee notes that the current political climate  in the U.S. is deeply concerning to her:

“With the overturning of Roe v. Wade, the discrimination and stripping of rights for the LGBTQIA+ community, the blatant racism and biases that affect people of color, it feels quite disheartening and truly concerning,” she emphasizes. 

“Even the recent beheading of a statue by Shahzia Sikander, which honors women and female autonomy on the University of Houston’s campus, reinforces the fact that some people still don’t believe that women should be able to make their own choices."

Lyndsee’s activism is driven by a profound sense of urgency. 

"We have every right to be here, to take up space, to speak up, and to live happy, healthy lives. In the face of a government that thinks we must just accept that men rule over our bodies, make decisions that deny us rights and silence our voices, and perpetuate patriarchal systems that do not favor us, I hope that people can see how dangerous that is," she asserts. "Even if you don’t want to have children, our younger and future generations must be considered when we take a stance."

Lyndsee’s commitment to advocacy is personal and profound. "I think a quote from Elaine Welteroth’s book 'More Than Enough: Claiming Space For Who You Are' so beautifully and succinctly nails it:

 'Sometimes just being yourself is a radical act. When you occupy space in systems that weren't built for you, your authenticity is activism.'"

Through her life choices and her work, Lyndsee embodies this radical authenticity. She navigates a world that often pressures women to conform to traditional roles, making bold choices that reflect her true self and inspire others to do the same.

As our interview draws to a close, I’m struck by Lyndsee’s unwavering commitment to living a life that’s true to her values, even when it defies societal norms. Her journey is a powerful reminder that there is no single path to fulfillment and success. 

Whether choosing not to marry or have children, prioritizing education and personal growth, or advocating for political change, Lyndsee Nielsen is living proof that we can all carve our own paths, unapologetically and authentically.

Her story is not just about rejecting societal expectations, but about embracing the fullness of life’s possibilities. It’s about the courage to make choices that align with one’s true self and the strength to stand by those choices in the face of criticism. Lyndsee’s life is a celebration of individuality, a testament to the power of self-determination, and an inspiration to all who seek to live authentically.

Lyndsee’s story resonates with the Taoist philosophy of following the "Way" (Dao) that is natural and true to oneself. Just as Laozi advised to "know the white, but keep to the black," Lyndsee understands societal expectations but chooses to live her life in a way that is authentic to her inner self. Her journey is a testament to the Taoist concept of "Wu Wei," or effortless action, living in harmony with one's nature rather than forcing oneself into societal molds.

In reflecting on her path, Lyndsee offers a powerful example of the importance of inner wisdom over external validation, a key tenet in both Taoist and broader Eastern philosophies. Her life is a living testament to the profound freedom that comes from thinking for oneself and transcending the good opinion of others. 

As I reflect on my conversation with Lyndsee, it becomes clear that her journey is more than just a personal narrative. Rather, it’s a powerful statement on the importance of living authentically and courageously. 

Her life exemplifies the wisdom found in Taoist and Eastern philosophies, highlighting the freedom and fulfillment that come from embracing one's true self and rejecting societal constraints. 

In a world that often demands conformity, Lyndsee's story stands as a beacon of individuality and self-determination, encouraging us all to listen to our inner voices and carve out our own unique paths. 

Through her bold choices and unwavering commitment to her values, Lyndsee Nielsen reminds us that the most profound journey is the one that leads us back to our true selves.

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This interview was inspired by Lyndsee’s post on LinkedIn 

You can also see more of her work at www.lyndseeloves.com  and Lyndseeloves on Wordpress

And here are some articles about about the vandalism of the statue at The University of Houston:

Shahzia Sikander Sculpture Beheaded at the University of Houston by ARTnews

Statue Honoring Women and Justice Vandalized at University of Houston by The New York Times