I ask questions to allow people to feel heard, listened to. I do want to know them in that moment. My coworker was surprised when I told him about one customers story... he notices that I know people's stories! Over the decades of no one listening to me, I gave up on "me" attention and I now thrive on their attention of their place in their path. It warms my heart! I also love to use questions to derail manipulators in ways to assist them (anyway), but not in the manner they attempted!
I do this as well, and I started doing it for similar reasons. I do it mostly related to my shame triggers the biggest being not feeling worthy of love or being lovable. I am finding some healing engagement with this one.
The one I am really facing and still needing help with is existential vulnerability aka aging and death as I am on the final leg of this journey in terms of age group.
Not just the polite, get-to-know-you questions. No, I’ve mastered the art of deep, soul-piercing inquiry. The kind of questions that make people stop, tilt their head, and say, “Wow, no one’s ever asked me that before.”
We are meant to be friends. Omg I have found somebody just like me😲
Yes! I love this for you. Truly deep connection with another soul in conversation, in my experience, has been a give and take, or rather a safe space of sharing and listening with the occasional silence. Not that you haven’t come close to this before, you have shared vulnerably with me, but your high quality conversational skills have led to what you express in this article about being quick to turn to asking the other person questions about themselves. Not a bad thing, but definitely makes it easier to be less vulnerable yourself. I feel this myself too. I tend to do this a lot, even with most of my closest friends. I’m trying to also be more vulnerable than usual with them. So while it’s always a pleasure to connect with you in conversation, it was a pleasant and interesting but also uncomfortable surprise, at first, how much you asked me about myself and experiences. I will be in touch soon when I’m back in town. I’ve been wanting to meet up again and catch up with you! Thank you for opening your vulnerable side some more, Diamond-Michael. 💙
I'm trying to catch my breath over this. No man I've ever known has had the courage to discuss this sort of thing to any degree. Bravo! You've hit a major note in how some people use words and talk to get through an encounter with others in ways that distance and protect them from any real communication or understanding. Wow! I am listening and straight up in my chair.
I am just going to peek over my shield and say from behind my visor that you are proposing to do a brave thing. I salute you.
Thanks Jackson.
I ask questions to allow people to feel heard, listened to. I do want to know them in that moment. My coworker was surprised when I told him about one customers story... he notices that I know people's stories! Over the decades of no one listening to me, I gave up on "me" attention and I now thrive on their attention of their place in their path. It warms my heart! I also love to use questions to derail manipulators in ways to assist them (anyway), but not in the manner they attempted!
Thank you for your vulnerability and your truth. I can relate to so much of what you said. It’s writings like this that inspire change.
I do this as well, and I started doing it for similar reasons. I do it mostly related to my shame triggers the biggest being not feeling worthy of love or being lovable. I am finding some healing engagement with this one.
The one I am really facing and still needing help with is existential vulnerability aka aging and death as I am on the final leg of this journey in terms of age group.
Really intimate and revealing. Thank you!
Not just the polite, get-to-know-you questions. No, I’ve mastered the art of deep, soul-piercing inquiry. The kind of questions that make people stop, tilt their head, and say, “Wow, no one’s ever asked me that before.”
We are meant to be friends. Omg I have found somebody just like me😲
Eureka! I had the same thought about you which is why I reached out.
Yes! I love this for you. Truly deep connection with another soul in conversation, in my experience, has been a give and take, or rather a safe space of sharing and listening with the occasional silence. Not that you haven’t come close to this before, you have shared vulnerably with me, but your high quality conversational skills have led to what you express in this article about being quick to turn to asking the other person questions about themselves. Not a bad thing, but definitely makes it easier to be less vulnerable yourself. I feel this myself too. I tend to do this a lot, even with most of my closest friends. I’m trying to also be more vulnerable than usual with them. So while it’s always a pleasure to connect with you in conversation, it was a pleasant and interesting but also uncomfortable surprise, at first, how much you asked me about myself and experiences. I will be in touch soon when I’m back in town. I’ve been wanting to meet up again and catch up with you! Thank you for opening your vulnerable side some more, Diamond-Michael. 💙
I'm trying to catch my breath over this. No man I've ever known has had the courage to discuss this sort of thing to any degree. Bravo! You've hit a major note in how some people use words and talk to get through an encounter with others in ways that distance and protect them from any real communication or understanding. Wow! I am listening and straight up in my chair.