Is it Better to Look Good or Feel Good?

You Be The Judge

In an age where the selfie reigns supreme, and filters are more beloved than philosophy, the question persists…..

“…….Is it better to look good or feel good?”

Ask a plastic surgeon, and they’ll offer you a consultation. Ask an influencer, and they’ll point you to their latest brand deal. Ask the Tao, the I Ching, or the old sages of Qigong, and they’ll chuckle at the absurdity of the question itself.

Because here’s the secret that no one wants to hear….

“……Feeling good is the path to looking good—not the other way around.”

The Illusion of Looking Good

Everywhere I turn, I see people trapped in the frantic pursuit of looking good—perfect angles, curated captions, twerking on Instagram, and staged moments of faux enlightenment.

Weddings, job interviews, and high school reunions are no longer events but gladiatorial contests of aesthetic supremacy:

“Does this make me look successful?” “Will my ex regret leaving me?” “Will this post get me more likes than my last one?”

The great irony? All this effort to look good often leaves people feeling worse. The botoxed face, the abs carved by starvation, the overpriced outfit that doesn’t breathe—none of it can fill the void of an exhausted spirit.

What is the cost of this obsession? Anxiety, comparison, an endless hunger for external approval that no amount of validation can satisfy.

The Tao reminds us that the more we chase something, the further it runs from us. If you contort yourself to fit society’s idea of beauty, you become a prisoner of perception, shackled to opinions that shift like desert sands.

But let’s flip the script. What if, instead of spending our energy trying to appear radiant, we focused on feeling radiant?

The Power of Feeling Good

I’m of the opinion that feeling good is not just a fleeting emotion—it’s an act of rebellion in a world that profits off your insecurities.

To feel good is to breathe deeply, move freely, and align yourself with something greater than Instagram metrics. It’s sinking into a Qigong flow, feeling qi rise from your belly and tingle through your fingertips.

For me, it’s embracing the wisdom of I Ching Hexagram 40—Deliverance—letting go of stagnant energy, shedding old burdens like a snake slipping from its skin.

Ellen Langer, in her research for the book Mindset, reminds us that our mental state directly shapes our physical reality. When we think young, we feel young. When we believe in our own vitality, we embody it. Science is finally catching up to what the Taoists have known for millennia — where your focus goes, your energy flows.

Which brings us to the real secret:

If you focus on feeling good, you naturally start looking good.

Not in a forced, desperate way, but in an effortless, ziran way—the Taoist ideal of naturalness. The glow of someone who is truly at peace radiates beyond cheekbones and jawlines.

Their energy is magnetic. They may not have the perfect haircut or the latest designer clothes, but people feel drawn to them.

Because we are energy beings before we are physical beings. Our qi speaks before we do.

Manifesting the Good Life

So, let’s step off the hamster wheel of external validation and step into something infinitely more powerful — the ability to cultivate our own inner energy.

• Instead of forcing a smile for a picture, feel the deep belly laugh that makes your sides hurt.

• Instead of starving for abs, move your body in a way that makes your soul dance.

• Instead of painting on confidence, cultivate real self-respect by honoring your own needs.

Feeling good is not about indulgence. It’s about tuning into the life force within you, nourishing your qi, and stepping into a state of ease. It’s about shifting from seeking approval to radiating presence.

The truth is, when you feel good, you don’t need validation. You are already validated by the simple joy of being alive.

And that? That’s the kind of beauty that never fades.

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