This Is Only a Test

The Emergency Broadcast System as Life’s Great Cosmic Joke

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I still hear the voice in my head sometimes:

“This is a test of the Emergency Broadcast System. This is only a test.”

Ah, the glory days of analog television. I’d be watching your Saturday morning cartoons (big Scooby Do fan here), or maybe a late-night sci-fi flick, and suddenly—BAM—the screen would cut to that ominous tone followed by the voice.

It was unsettling, disruptive, and weirdly comforting all at once. Because no matter how jarring the interruption was, you knew that it was only a test.

The good news is that I’ve come to see that message as a brilliant metaphor for life itself.

Life: The 24/7 Emergency Broadcast System

Every flat tire, breakup, layoff, political dumpster fire, or existential crisis?

Yep.

“This is a test of the Emergency Broadcast System. This is only a test.”

Most of us spend our days reacting to these interruptions like they’re full-blown, world-ending emergencies. The Taoist in me smiles at this.

Lao Tzu would simply remind us that what we call “emergencies” are often just the natural ebb and flow of existence. What we label as a crisis, the Tao calls change. What we call failure, the Tao calls movement.

The Tao Te Ching whispers:

“Calamity is that upon which happiness depends; happiness is that in which calamity is latent.”

Translation?

Life is the Emergency Broadcast System. Every moment contains both breakdown and breakthrough. Don’t panic when the tone blares. Flow like water. Observe, breathe, let it pass.

Buddha’s Take: Don’t Believe the Alarm

Buddha would have made an excellent FCC official for the Emergency Broadcast System. He would calmly sit, cross-legged, while the warning tone played, smiling with that serene half-grin that says, “You see? The suffering arises from your attachment to the illusion that this interruption means something permanent.”

“Life is suffering,” the Buddha taught. But more precisely, life is impermanent, and we suffer because we think it isn’t. Every Emergency Broadcast test in our lives reminds us of that impermanence.

You thought your marriage was rock solid. Test.

You thought your job was secure. Test.

You thought your body was invincible at 25. Test.

These are not emergencies; these are wake-up calls to the transient nature of all things. The Buddhist path says: See it. Don’t cling. Don’t resist. Let go.

This is only a test.

Krishna’s Version: The Battlefield Broadcast

Now enter the Bhagavad Gita, where Arjuna is on the ultimate live broadcast—facing his family on the battlefield of Kurukshetra, frozen in doubt and dread. And Krishna steps in like the original cosmic Emergency Broadcast announcer:

“You grieve for those who should not be grieved for. The wise grieve neither for the living nor the dead.”

In other words:

Arjuna, bro—this is a test. This is only a test.

Krishna reminds us that the real emergency isn’t the external battle. Instead, it’s the inner confusion about who we are. You are not your role, your success, your failure, or your fleeting emotions. You are the eternal Self, the witness behind it all.

The Cosmic Joke We Keep Forgetting

The problem is, we forget that life is always treating every encounter we experience as a test. We grab the microphone, scream into it, and treat the test signal like breaking news. We freak out. We rage against the TV. We say:

“Why is this happening to me?”

And somewhere in the control room, the Tao, Buddha, and Krishna are sipping tea together, nodding:

He forgot again. It’s just a test.

How to Handle Life’s Tests Like a Master Broadcaster

🧐 Pause Before Reacting

When the Emergency Broadcast tone hits, don’t immediately respond. Let the tone play. Watch your breath. See what unfolds.

🤨 Don’t Personalize It

The Tao doesn’t play favorites. The universe isn’t out to get you. It’s just rolling along.

😎 See the Impermanence

The test will end. The screen will return to regular programming. Nothing lasts.

🥳 Keep Your Inner Frequency Clear

Like Krishna told Arjuna: Anchor yourself in your true Self. You’re bigger than any momentary static.

🤩 Laugh at the Absurdity

Because at the end of the day, it really is funny how seriously we take these tests.

So the next time life blares that screeching tone in your ears, smile and say to yourself:

“This is a test of your spiritual broadcast system. This is only a test.”