reflecting on my life direction…..

….. which is still a bit of a mystery

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Diamond-Michael

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At this very moment while writing this piece, I have no clue as to where I’m headed with some life stuff.

None. Zip. Nada.

But what I do know is that I’m going to get there. Wherever there is.

And while this might sound like a worrisome predicament to some, I’ve decided to embrace it with the confidence of a Taoist traveler who understands that the path reveals itself only as you walk it.

I used to be someone who needed to have everything mapped out—finances, career moves, life goals, even the perfect strategy for making my Bok Choy mushroom soup taste like that at a five-star restaurant.

But over the years, I’ve realized that plans are often just elaborate fictions we tell ourselves for comfort. Life is unpredictable, and the more I try to impose control, the more it laughs in my face.

This lesson has been particularly humbling when it comes to money. I’ve found that it has a mind of its own—coming and going as it pleases, often slipping through my fingers just as I think I have a handle on it.

I used to panic when unexpected expenses popped up, thinking that surely, this was a sign the universe had forsaken me. But now, I’ve come to see it differently. In the grand cosmic dance, money isn’t something to grip tightly. Like the Tao itself, it must flow.

Mencius, the Mean, and My Bank Account

Mencius, that wise old sage of Confucian thought, would probably shake his head at my laissez-faire attitude toward financial planning. He was a firm believer that human nature is inherently good, but that it needs proper cultivation.

The Doctrine of the Mean, a central Confucian principle, teaches us to find balance in all things—emotionally, ethically, even economically.

So where does that leave me? Somewhere between complete financial dopeness and miserly penny-pinching. I am learning patience, not just with money but with myself.

I have moments of doubt where I wonder if I should be “doing more,” making a foolproof financial roadmap, investing in whatever the latest hot stock is. But then I remember the essence of the Mean: steadiness, adaptability, trust.

This isn’t just about money. It’s about the deeper realization that my so-called “lack of direction” is actually just another way of saying that I’m open to life as it unfolds.

The idea of wu wei, effortless action, reminds me that my role isn’t to force things but to align with the flow of life. The moment I stop grasping, opportunities arise.

The Taoist Traveler’s Way

A true Taoist traveler doesn’t stress over GPS coordinates or destination arrival times. They move with ease, knowing that the road itself is the teacher.

There’s a certain magic in waking up each day and saying, “I have no idea where I’m going, but I’m open to finding out.” This doesn’t mean a lack of responsibility—it means trusting the process.

When I look back at the biggest transformations in my life, they didn’t come from meticulously executed five-year plans. They came from chance encounters, unexpected detours, and the moments where I threw my hands up and let the Tao take the wheel.

And so, I continue. Financial uncertainty, shifting career landscapes, and the unpredictable currents of life no longer scare me the way they used to.

I’ve come to see them as part of the rhythm of existence. So as long as I’m in motion, I’m growing.

So where am I headed? I don’t know. But I trust that I’ll get there. And I trust that wherever “there” is, it will be exactly where I’m meant to be.