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Anna's avatar

Curiosity is a state of presence. It’s something we can cultivate. I consider myself a curious person and at the same time, I hate to admit it, I can also be judgmental. I think it’s because I’ve been conditioned to feel that I must make quick assessment, scanning the field for danger as a survivor to keep my out of harms way. It’s very much a ‘fear based’ way of orienting towards the world.

I am challenged by ‘anticipatory anxiety’ — fearing the possible worse outcomes as if that we’ll give me a greater sense of control. It’s an illusion though. Anxiety doesn’t serve me. It took the longest time to come to that basic reality.

The election outcome hasn’t exactly made me feel any more secure. The 24/7 news cycle isn’t helpful either as it’s not offering anything particularly hopeful. Just more doom and gloom.

I appreciate Zhuangzi’s prescription for dealing with uncertainty with laughter. It seems to be the ultimate in surrender. Sometimes, I can go there. Other times, I just want to cry. I want to mourn. But, this is not encouraged in our culture. We’re told to ‘laugh’ it off. I’m not sure that’s always the best approach when we’re faced with oppressive forces from our present or our past. If we haven’t processed the past, I don’t think there’s an appropriate framing for the future.

I feel that there are no spaces to grieve, to process, to mourn, to self reflect, to gather, to connect with others, in part, because there’s a continual emphasis on efficiency, the lack of time, the need to be ‘on top’ of all the latest news, all of the ‘developments’. It’s a constant chase to catch up.

What am I chasing?

Time for me to slow down. Time for me to meditate. Time for me to mourn. I find it’s time to read ‘The Wild Edge of Sorrow’ at a time it feels that the world is coming unglued. That feels honoring.

I guess I’m in another space right now. And I do appreciate your perspective.

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Lenora Roseen's avatar

Wise words, Diamond-Michael. Thanks for the reminder. I’ve always been a highly curious person by nature, but I admit this recent election result has me quite concerned.

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