Hearing From Folks Who Only Want Something From You….

Confronting Hollow Echoes of Human Need

There’s a certain sting in realizing that some people only think of you when they need something. It’s a quiet betrayal—not loud or aggressive, but persistent, like a leaky faucet of the soul.

You hear from them when they want a favor, a connection, a donation, a quick fix for their crumbling moment. But when your own sky clouds over or you’re simply sitting in the stillness of life, there’s no knock at the door. No text. No curiosity.

I’ve learned this isn’t personal, even though it feels that way. It’s human nature—or at least a version of it shaped by the currency of convenience. We are living in a world of transactional relationships, not transformational ones.

And if you’ve ever worked hard to become generous, present, or wise—watch out. You become a magnet for the needy, the grabby, the ghostly. People show up like it’s an ATM visit. Insert a smile, withdraw your time, vanish again.

The I Ching, in its ancient, cryptic beauty, offers something profoundly sobering for this reality. Hexagram 10—Treading (Conduct)—warns us about navigating dangerous ground while still preserving inner dignity. It teaches that when surrounded by those with impure motives, we must still walk our path with grace. “Treading upon the tail of the tiger,” it says, “It does not bite the man. Success.”

The wisdom here is in restraint, in holding our center without collapsing into bitterness. We can’t control who calls only when they want something—but we can control how we respond.

We don’t need to perform loyalty for those who don’t reciprocate it. Nor must we shut down and become cold. We can do what the Tao Te Ching advises—act without attachment, give without expectation, and remain soft but strong.

But let’s be honest. It’s hard.

It’s hard not to feel used. Not to curl up in your shell and start screening the world like a bouncer at a velvet rope. I’ve had to sit with the hurt of being “valuable” to others only when I’m useful. It can make you question your worth or worse, question if real connection even exists in this age of swipes, scrolls, and selective acknowledgment.

Hexagram 20—Contemplation (View)—offers another balm. It says: step back and observe the world from a high place. Not from superiority, but from perspective. See patterns. Notice intentions. Witness behaviors. And in doing so, you cultivate wisdom without being devoured by disappointment.

We’re invited to become both the mountain and the mirror—unmoved by the small winds of neediness, yet reflecting the truth of what we see.

And here’s what I’ve come to see….. most people are hungry. Starving even—for meaning, for peace, for presence. And in their desperation, they fumble toward anyone radiating a little warmth. That doesn’t make it right. But it does make it human. And being human, after all, is a very messy business.

So, what do we do when connection feels conditional?

We stay generous—but with boundaries.

We remain open—but not naive.

We continue to serve—but from overflow, not depletion.

The Tao teaches us that water never resents the stone that redirects it—it simply flows around and continues on its way. That’s the path I try to walk. I’m learning to bless the moments when people reach out to take—and then quietly reclaim my energy, re-anchor in solitude, and return to my own unfolding. Because my worth isn’t found in being needed. It’s found in being.

Maybe that’s the ultimate I Ching teaching: Hexagram 61—Inner Truth. It reminds us to live in alignment with our own integrity, regardless of what others do. The world may be noisy with needs, but if your spirit is rooted and your intentions are clear, you will never be truly alone.

So if they only call when they want something, let them.

And when you answer—if you choose to—do so not from scarcity, but from the still, sovereign space where your soul drinks deeply from the Tao.

That, I’ve found, is the only connection that never leaves you empty.

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Diamond Michael Scott

aka The Chocolate Taoist