Are You Fighting What You Ultimately Can’t Control?

What If You Just Surrendered and Laughed

I used to think life was something to be wrestled into submission….

……..a bull to be ridden, a puzzle to be solved, a problem to be fixed. 

If I could just control all the variables, manipulate the outcomes, and steer this ship to my preferred destination, then surely I’d be sipping a Mai Tai on the beach of Certainty Island. 

Well, guess what? That hasn’t worked. In fact, it has often backfired spectacularly for me. 

In the end, life just doesn't give a damn about my plans. And that's when I stumbled upon the wild, paradoxical wisdom of Taoism, the I Ching, and the Stoics. It turns out, there's something liberating—dare I say, hilarious—about surrendering to the unpredictable mess that life is. 

You see, life isn't some grand chess match where we outmaneuver fate. Rather, it’s more like a game of pin the tail on the donkey while blindfolded and slightly drunk. 

Taoism, in all its mystical wisdom, says it’s not about trying to fix the chaos or control it, but rather about leaning into it—embracing it like an old friend who shows up at your door unannounced with a bottle of wine and a bucket of problems. 

In Taoist thought, to surrender isn't to give up, it’s to be like water, effortlessly flowing around obstacles rather than crashing headfirst into them. When faced with uncertainty, the Taoist sage doesn't grit his or her teeth—they chuckle at the cosmic joke. 

The ancient text of the I Ching has whispered the same advice through the ages: 

“Accept the paradox, embrace the mystery, and for heaven’s sake, stop trying to fight the current.”

This might sound passive to the untrained ear, but trust me, it’s the boldest thing you can do in a world obsessed with “grinding” and “hustling.” By surrendering to what life is instead of clinging to what we wish it would be, we open ourselves to a strange kind of strength—a strength that Nassim Nicholas Taleb would call "antifragility." 

Taleb's concept of antifragility is all about thriving in randomness, chaos, and disorder. Like a boxer who gets stronger with every punch or a forest that grows more resilient after a fire, being antifragile is about benefiting from life's unpredictable curveballs. 

Because here’s the deal — the more you try to resist uncertainty, the more fragile you become. It’s like being that guy who shows up to a bar fight in a three-piece suit and then wonders why he gets knocked out by a stray punch. 

Taleb’s wisdom aligns beautifully with Taoism: Don’t be the glass that shatters—be the rubber ball that bounces back higher. 

And what do the Stoics have to say about all this? Well, they would probably nod approvingly from their ancient Roman armchairs. Marcus Aurelius, in his Meditations, constantly reminds us that while we can’t control external events, we can control our reactions. 

Epictetus, ever the pragmatist, put it plainly: “It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.” 

And here's the kicker—most of what happens is utterly outside our control. It’s like trying to manage the weather with a fly swatter. So why not stop flailing around and learn to dance in the rain? If life is a comedy, as the Stoics suggest, then we should play our part with a little humor and grace, embracing the absurdity rather than resisting it. 

This is the essence of “Amor Fati,” or “love of fate”—finding beauty in everything that happens, even when it’s the kind of beauty that comes from watching a dumpster fire and thinking, “Well, at least it’s warm.”

In this mad dance of life, there’s something incredibly freeing about letting go of our illusions of control. It doesn’t mean we stop caring or striving; it means we stop pretending we’re in charge of the cosmos. 

Laughing at the sheer absurdity of life is not a sign of weakness; it’s a mark of wisdom. After all, isn’t it a little funny that we, these tiny specks in a vast universe, think we can mold reality to our whims? 

The truth is, we’re like surfers on an unpredictable ocean, and our job isn’t to calm the waves—it’s to ride them with style.

So, surrender to the mystery, embrace the chaos, and, for goodness' sake, stop taking yourself so seriously. Because in the grand scheme of things, the universe isn’t out to get you—it’s just doing its thing. And the best we can do is roll with it, maybe even laugh a little, and see where the current takes us.

---

Speaking of control, I have no hand in predicting what comes in each month for me financially. Things are bare bones at the moment, but I have been writing through these ebbs and flows as a solo writer since 1993. So this isn’t my first rodeo. 

I would be grateful for your support of my daily Chocolate Taoist digital newsletter at $6.00/month or $60.00/year. Believe me, every little bit counts.

Diamond-Michael Scott aka The Chocolate Taoist