A Sober Revolution

Ditching Booze for Authentic Love and Real Pleasure

Tawny Lara

In a city that never sleeps, Tawny Lara, the self-proclaimed "Sober Sexpert,” is shaking up the narrative on dating, sex, and alcohol. With her book, “Dry Humping: A Guide to Dating, Relating, and Hooking Up Without Booze,” Tawny is challenging deeply ingrained societal norms.

Her mission? To prove that authentic connections and uninhibited intimacy are not only possible without alcohol but are profoundly more fulfilling.

Tawny Lara

’s journey into the sober curious movement began long before her title as the Sober Sexpert. Once a whiskey enthusiast, she found herself increasingly disillusioned with the numbing effects of alcohol. 

The turning point came when her husband, Nick, introduced her to the world of artisanal vinegar. Nick’s venture, Sour Humanoid, specializes in organic seaweed-based vinegar. This was the genesis of their collaborative creation,(parentheses), a vinegar-based botanical beverage that mimics the complex bite of whiskey.

In a market flooded with uninspiring non-alcoholic options, (parentheses) stands out. It’s not just a drink, it’s a statement against mass production and the soulless consumption driven by corporate giants. 

Tawny’s disdain for companies like Amazon is palpable. “We don’t want to give Bezos a dime,” she declares, underscoring her commitment to keeping (parentheses) an artisanal, small-batch product.

Tawny’s approach in my view is both contrarian and Taoist. She embraces the Taoist philosophy of simplicity and authenticity, values that permeate her personal life and professional endeavors.

In Taoism, there’s a concept called “wu wei,” which translates to ‘effortless action’ or ‘non-doing.’ This principle aligns seamlessly with Tawny’s advocacy for a sober lifestyle. Rather than forcing connections through the haze of alcohol, she encourages a natural, unfiltered approach to relationships.

For many, alcohol is a social lubricant, a tool to ease the anxieties of dating and intimacy. However, as Tawny argues, this reliance on liquid courage often masks deeper insecurities and fears. She recounts a personal anecdote, a first date in her past that progressed seamlessly under the influence of wine, only to leave both parties questioning the authenticity of their connection the next morning. It’s a familiar story for many, but Tawny’s perspective offers a refreshing alternative.

Her book “Dry Humping,” isn’t just a guide; it’s a manifesto for a new way of living. Tawny shares practical tips for navigating the dating world sober, from learning to love one’s authentic self to engaging in sober sex, which she asserts is more pleasurable. The science backs her up—without alcohol’s numbing effects, the body’s natural responses are heightened, leading to more satisfying intimate experiences.

The pandemic has undeniably altered our relationship with alcohol. While some have increased their consumption, others have used this period to reassess their drinking habits. A study by Hinge in June 2022 revealed that 75% of Millennials and Gen Z participants preferred alcohol-free first dates. This shift signifies a growing disillusionment with the traditional “let’s grab a drink” approach to dating.

In “Dry Humping,” Tawny dives deep into the reasons behind alcohol dependence, revealing that it often masks larger issues like anxiety, PTSD, or depression. Her first chapter encourages readers to “date themselves,” a concept that aligns with Taoist self-discovery and inner peace. By confronting and understanding their true selves, individuals can build healthier, more authentic relationships.

When asked about the impetus for writing “Dry Humping,” she explains that it was born out of a need she felt in her own early recovery. The biggest surprise? The interest from people who still drink but want to explore sober dating and sex.

Tawny’s observations on post-pandemic dating trends highlight a significant shift. The rise of virtual dates and the importance of discussing vaccination status have transformed how we connect. Yet, the core desire remains the same: to find genuine, lasting connections without the crutch of alcohol.

Her greatest hope for readers of “Dry Humping” is empowerment. Whether someone is fully abstinent, participating in Dry January, or simply looking to be more mindful about their alcohol consumption, her book offers tangible, inclusive advice. It’s about replacing liquid courage with genuine bravery and finding joy in sober, authentic interactions.

Tawny’s journey and her work resonate deeply with Taoist principles. By embracing simplicity, authenticity, and effortless action, she is leading a revolution in how we approach love, sex, and relationships. Her message is clear: true intimacy and connection don’t need alcohol; they need the courage to be our authentic selves.

As she continues to challenge conventions and inspire others, her work is a testament to the power of sober curiosity. For those willing to embrace this path, the rewards are profound: deeper connections, greater self-awareness, and a life unburdened by the numbing effects of alcohol. In the spirit of Taoism, Tawny invites us to find harmony within ourselves and our relationships, one sober date at a time.

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